When Zombies Attack, Boy Gets Girl

By Alec Horowitz

Stars: ***

Pity us guys who have to wait for the world to be taken over by zombies in order to get the girl. I keep waiting for something to happen. I go to the movies, saying that one day those hours playing “World of Warcraft” are going to pay off, and I’m going to be the hero as the zombies attack the girl and it’s up to me to save her. Though, lets face it. That’s probably not going to happen. So, lets talk about this in simply movie terms. Zombies are funny. Ok, this movie isn’t the brilliant 2004 British comedy “Shawn of the Dead”, but this is still funny. It stars Woody Harrison as a redneck survivor of the zombie uprising who comes across the narrator of the movie, a nerdy Jesse Eisenberg, who says before Zombieland happened, he was a lonely nerd who spent his weekend playing Word of Warcraft and drinking soda. So, basically, the two comes across Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin, and it becomes basically a classic buddy road picture with a gimmick. Though, not a bad one. As I said earlier, zombies are funny.

            There’s not too much going on here. They shot zombies, they wreck a store for no reason, Woody Harrison is a crazy redneck, Jesse Eisenberg is an insecure nerd and Emma Stone is really hot. It’s fun viewing to watch and has some good running gags. Though, if there are very few people in the world and the zombies outnumber the humans, than there’s probably a lot of time to kill. They go out and find a mason in Las Angles and there’s a surprise cameo by Bill Muarry, in a funny, funny few scenes. It’s always nice to see Bill Maury. He’s not a zombie, he just dresses like one to stay inspected because he likes to go out and do things. Ok, cool cameo. There’s a great line before he dies asking if he has any regrets, and he goes “Garfield”.

            Woody Harrison kills the zombies quick. He’s a mysterious and funny character who obsesses over Twinkies (*cough* product placement) who kills the zombies. Harrison is good at this type of whacky over the top roles. Ok, so this isn’t the place where everyone knows your name, but Harrison knows how to play up the whacky redneck that is on the edge in a world taken over by zombies. There are a lot of guns in these movies, and often when the scenes where the characters are just shooting zombies felt like just watching a live action video game. Was this based on a video game? I goggled it but am still not sure. Just goes to show how on the cutting edge I am on the world of video games that aren’t RPG’s on a computer screen.

            The movie makes creative use of a constant list Eisenberg narrates and it keeps coming onto the background of the scenes. One of the items on the list is don’t be a hero, but when it comes time to save the girl from the zombies, what do you think he does? Maybe this is why I enjoyed seeing a movie about Zombies than say, Twilight, a movie about hot vampires who save the day. The Zombies aren’t some supernatural beings, which look like models and care about your feelings.  They are blood-sucking monsters like vampires used to be. Classic monsters. It’s up to the normal human guy to save the day and get the girl. Not the other way around. The human guy prevails. It’s in the tradition of Godzilla and every monster movie ever made. The monster being the good guy is relatively new. Maybe the next Zombie movie, the slogan on the poster should be Zombies, the kind of monster vampires used to be.

A White Collar Criminal Who Does Himself In

By Alec Horowitz

Stars: ****

‘The Informant!’ is more than just a satire on white-collar crime. It’s also a reflection on the corporate culture of the 90s. Matt Demon plays Mark Whitacre, a corporate stiff who works for a company called ADM, one of those companies, which puts invisible corn products into much of the food in the supermarket. Though, this movie isn’t about the corporate engineering of food, though that does add a bit of a creepy element to it. As FBI Agent Brain Shepard (Scott Bakula) says, “Americans are already victims of corporate crime when they finish their breakfast.” The corporate crime though isn’t so much the corn products put into their breakfast foods as much as it’s the price fixing going on inside the company that manufactures the product invisible in the food Americans consume. What follows is a very well done funny drama about a bi polar white-collar criminal, who we find hard not to like even after some of his sins are brought out in the public.

We find out a lot of unpleasant things about Mark Whitacre, but for some reason, we can’t really seem to really dislike him. Maybe it’s because unlike many other criminals in films about corporate criminals, we see something of ourselves in this character. The screenplay by Scott Burns, based on the book by journalist Kurt Eichenwald, smartly plays out a running dialogue throughout the film of Witacre’s thoughts. Often they are simple and not related to the core plot, but this also draws out his character as the common man. At first, he seems to be another stiff consumed in the corporate culture of the 90s. One scene he is standing at a abandoned field with two walls sitting there, thinking to himself it make a good spot for a shopping outlet with even a food court. He also early on has a habit of comparing everything that happens to a Michael Crithon novel. When he finds that the Chinese are involved in the price fixing scheme, his first thought is this is just like the Michael Crithon novel, “Rising Sun.” Though, as the movie progresses, we start to get the sense that this inner running dialogue isn’t a normal organization of thoughts. There’s something off about the way he runs them off.

What make this film’s script and direction by Stephen Soderberg are a few elements. One of them is that the movie turns around in the middle. The film isn’t a covenantal white-collar criminal story and the film doesn’t treat this like one. There where times in this film I felt like I was watching a scene from “Fargo”, with that feel of an America surrounded by middle class housing and cheap luxury. There’s no dramatic music, instead choosing to use cheesy music that belongs out of a TV crime show. There’s a delicate balance going on in this film of comedy and drama. At one end the film is trying to make fun of the corporate culture and the people who get caught up in this. The film is in a way making fun of Mark Whitacre, but on the other hand, it isn’t. Though he find that Whitacre is less than innocent in the matters he also fought to expose, we also don’t dislike him. We understand him, and there were times I wanted to help him. Mark Whitacre isn’t our usual criminal. In a way, he’s trying too hard to get ahead. On the other hand, he’s a victim to his own tics and mental disorder.

He’s a decent guy but also a liar and a thieve. Maybe it’s because of the way Matt Demon plays him. He’s exaggerates him, with his big glasses and constant spear of the moment thoughts. Though, every time he does something stupid during the FBI investigation, it’s because he simply isn’t very smart. On the other hand, he can’t be dumb if what he pulled off is true, but than again he seems so confused by what he has done. His relationship with the two FBI agents Brain Shepard and Bob Herndon (Joel McHale) seems genuine to a point. One of the reasons he seems to be doing this is because his wife told him it was the right thing to do. On the other hand, he’s told so many lies, who knows what his true motive is. Whitaker is a serial liar and thieve but also had the good will enough to come to the FBI and try to help them bust up a illegal plot. Though, also he’s trying to clear the board of the company so he will be celebrated for doing the right thing and getting upper hand in management. It’s stupid but it’s also understandable to watch someone try to accomplish this.

“The Informant!” is a very good, funny and at time, emotional corporate thriller. Though, it conveys emotions in a comical and low key way. Mark Whitacre is one of the more interesting whistle blower; with secrets of his own and problems he is trying his best to face up to. A important element of the film is that Mark isn't just a liar and a cheat, but he is for understandable reasons and we like him because of it. He has a undigonosied mental illiness. He is a victim of a coporate culture that has engulfed his life. He's also at times just not very smart. He's not a villian. He's just a guy trying to make it in the world, do the right thing and at the same time, well, make it in the world. He's well, a real person and this is said in one of those small sceens that often make a film. In one scene, when the other FBI agents are asking them what his motive would be, FBI Agent Bob Herndon talks out a picture of Mark Whitacre and his family and scolds his follow agents for thinking like that. “We carry this everywhere we go,” he says, “to remember he’s a real person”.

Not Quite E.T.

By Alec Horowitz

Stars: ***

A good science fiction writer always leaves his reader wondering who’s the villain and who’s the good guy. All the best science fiction novels leave the reader asking this question. With science fiction movies, it’s often a little clearer. In the classic alien, film E.T., for example, the human who took him in were the good guys, and the government who wanted to take him away were clearly the bad guys. In the classic science fiction film, “Aliens” obviously we want the humans to survive the wrath of those slimy creatures who infected their ship. In that made for TV movie, “Decoys” I watched on the Sci-Fi channel a few years ago, I know the aliens where dressed up as sexy co-eds who seduces boys and kills them where clearly the bad guys. I cheered for the aliens to win. I mean, come on, these where some stupid college students. Yes, it was campy fun but perhas I should get the film at hand. The point is there’s a long tradition of aliens in film. In the movie, “District 9”, it’s obvious the humans are the abusive one overreacting over the aliens who have landed.

In “District 9”, the aliens land in an African city and the population is confused, and fearing danger, they confine the aliens to camps. Insert irony of this taking place in an African city. The government than decides to cut back on their budget and outsource the camps to a private company.

They have Wilkus van de Merwe (Sahrlto Copley), a company employee, put in charge of the camps. He is a one of those guys who is more happy just working in a office and doing what the company tells him to without thinking about he’s doing to others. He lives in a middle class house with a pretty wife. He walks around the camps with aliens, of which don’t look cute and usually are the villains the cheer against; expect in this one, we are cheering for them. They live in shacks and are addicted to cat food, at the mercy of the gangs who hold the food over their heads. It’s not a good situation.

Now, Wilkus really doesn’t care about the aliens until he is infected and starts to slowly become one. His life goes to heck, and he is stuck running. The aliens in this film are interesting, as they don’t speak out language and we are being asked to feel sorry for aliens who don’t really come off as cute. The visuals are ugly on purpose, and so are the aliens. Their shacks are gray and ghastly, made out of the trash the humans have left behind. When watching the film, and some of the exterior shots of the entire landscapes, I was reminded of the landscapes of classic science fiction films like “Blade Runner”, “Aliens” and “The Terminator”. I was glad to see visuals that where dark and look. I was glad to see visuals that looked dystopian and gray in their style. Though, don’t expect too many big special effects like the films I just mentioned.

While the aliens and the space ship are obviousbly done with CGI, the film more of a feel of the independent, and not of a big budge science fiction adventure. That works with a film like this because this film is written with more a feel of exploring an issue of race relations and our general fear of the unknown than of space ships flying straight at the audience. This isn’t a happy go lucky alien adventure. This is a dark and distributing piece of science fiction that deserves to be scene and talked about. Unfortunately, though, and quite baffling, this film seems to run out of steam in the third act, and becomes baffling in a subplot thrown in about Wilkus running around in a Transformers type suit shooting up the place. No matter, though, the end of the film isn’t wrapped up in a tight bow. Usually, I would say expect a squeal. Though, the filmmakers obviously want you to leave the theater not really pondering about special effects or squeals. This all being said though, I love a good alien story and a good alien story always leaves the audience pondering: who's the real villian? Who's the real alien? Us or them?

A Fish Outta Water

By Alec Horowitz

Stars: ***1/2

The film “Ponyo” could of started with the words “It was a dark and stormy night”. Though, it’s quite a sunny day when the film opens, Japanese animation god Hayao Miyazaki’s new film is a whimsical story of a boy and his first pet, girlfriend and sister. Heck, it’s the story of all three, who happen to be the same creature. Where does Miyazaki come up with these stories? I don’t know. The man is a natural storyteller, but this one is so out there that even a seasoned film critic like myself found myself shaking my head in wonderment. The story is a little far fetched in some places, like the reaction of the boy’s mother when she first comes upon the fish turned human during the end of a rain storm, where she looks at the boy and his new found friend and simply says “Life is amazing” right away, with any more bewilderment. Though, it has to be let passed. To enter the world of Miyazaki is to enter one of unquestionable, joyful and even dark magic.

Many of the reoccurring themes of a Miyazaki film are played out in this film. Ponyo comes from the ocean, from a wizard father who used to be a human himself. In the American translation, Liam Neeson voices the father with effort, as he angrily acts as both a father trying to keep his young daughter under control. He scoffs at the idea of his daughter turning into a human. “I used to be a human once” he says with distain, “They use the ocean as their own personal garbage can!” Much of the scenes with the water have trash floating around. This is a similar environmental message that Miyazaki presented in his 1997 film “Princess Mononoke,” which dealt with the environment in a similar way. A young knight meets a girl who thinks she’s a wolf and was raised by wolfs, but falls in love with him, a human. She is in fact, a human too but is torn between her human blood and her wolf family, as she feels a reasonability not to join those who are destroying the forest where her adopted film lives.

Ponyo, though, unlike the heroine in “Princess Mononoke”, isn’t an adult and isn’t adopted. She is a part of nature. She isn’t someone who is adopted by nature. She desires not to be one with nature. She wants to be human. Though, this brings up an interesting question. Though, we as humans abuse nature. Are we a part of nature? She wants to be with this boy she meets. She and this boy have formed a magical friendship with this boy and the boy with her. Watching the boy in this film, there’s an interesting progression. We see the boy’s love go from a gold fish to a girl, all in one. Though, at the end of the day, this film is about as much about forces of nature as it is about children.

Maybe the biggest connection Miyazaki is drawing between a young child and forces of nature that the connection of innocence and joy they have. This film is about the forces of nature, and children too, symbolized by the friendship between a boy and his goldfish. One of the wonderful things about Myazaki film is he strikes that right balance between the innocence of children and magic and something deeper and dark as a undercurrent. Each film he makes is a journey into the mind of a master storyteller. Let the magic begin. It's a dark and stormy night out. Let the magic begin.

A interesting side note here. Someone over at NPR wrote a interesting piece about about how his autistic daughter related to the main charater in "Ponyo".

Film Isn’t Shot In Order. Either Is Our Memory.

By Alec Horowitz

Stars: ****

Films aren’t shot in order. Either is our memory. Films are edited in an order to make the events look like they happened in an order that makes sense. “500 Days of Summer” plays like a person’s memory; because we don’t remember our past romances and adventures in chronological order and neither does Tom (Joseph Godern-Levitt) as he tries to piece together what went right and wrong with his former girlfriend Summer (Zooey Deschanel). In fact, the story begins not on day one, but day 488 and jumps around randomly between the different days. Sometimes the film is taking place on day 5 and other times it takes place on day 482, but don’t expect to see day 3 before day 482 because the film takes place mostly in the memory of Tom, as he pieces together what has happened.

One of the remarkable things about “500 Days of Summer” is how many different ways are used to show how a relationship is played out. When Tom gets to sleep with Summer, it turns into a scene of song and dance, a territory Marc Webb knows well, considering he is a veteran of the music video. At times Summer is charming, at other times, she doesn’t quite do right by Tom. The screenwriters are smart, as to make the movie a bit quirkier than the two main characters. This isn’t to say the characters aren’t quirky. Tom is quiet and obsessive, a bit of an emo kid who sits on the hill commenting on how there are too many parking lots. Though, still the movie is a bit quirkier than the characters in it, which lets the characters have a nice charm to them that doesn’t charm it down your throat. The third person narration, the different ways that are used to describe the relationship, such as a scene where the screen splits and on one side reads expectations and the other reality are examples of using the medium in different ways.

What is nice about Tom is that he isn’t going to be saved by the girl and be remade or anything. It’s more like we are watching Tom grow as a young man, as his obsession with a failed relationship becomes more about him and his problems that Summer herself. We aren’t stuck with the usual clichés of romantic comedy like the sexes don’t really understand each other or stupid prate falls. It’s been a while since we had this. The film is about Tom coming of age and trying to learn a mature way to deal with a relationship that didn’t work out, and even as his little sister (Chloe Moretz) suggests, to look back on his relationship and realize it’s not quite the way he romanticized it. The film does cut back to those scenes that we first saw as so romantic, and shows little differences, not big differences in the way they played out. Even something as little as a hand hold. That's refreshing, I thought, to see a film that plays with our concept of a romantic gesure that plays in our head and the real thing. That almost becomes a reflection on the genre itsself.

The film isn’t wrapped up in a neat little bow, and as such isn’t a simple romantic comedy where guy meets girl, and than it goes into autopilot and runs the motions. It’s been a while since I seen a romantic comedy that dares to be a little quirky. “500 Days of Summer” is a neurotic and pitch perfect comedy that doesn’t play by the rules of how romantic comedey is the simple plot of boy gets girl. "500 Days of Summer" isn't really about the girl. It's not about the whole cliche of how the sexes don't get eachother either. It's about the boy, and the growing experience he has because of his failed relationship with the girl. The film comes to conclusion that isn't in order. Maybe that's what the film is about. Just because it's a story of how boy meets girl, doesn't mean it's a love story. It might just be a story about boy trying to figure things out.

I See The Whole Picture. No One Else Does But I Do.

By Alec Horowitz

Stars: ***

It’s only a few minutes in when Boris (Larry David) the main character from Woody Allen’s new picture ‘Whatever Works’ walks up to the camera and starts to talk directly to the audience, telling them that he isn’t the most likable guy and wondering why they would want to listen to his story. His two friends sitting at a table outside a New York City café ask him who’s he’s talking to. He says ‘Those people out there.’ referring to the audience before he starts to complain about the people just staring ahead and the guy eating the popcorn. The character is played pitch perfect by Larry David, as he walks through the street ranting about how life is meanness and laying out what is constantly the reoccurring themes in a Woody Allen film.

Boris meets a young girl (Evan Rachel Wood) outside his apartment and takes her in, after she is begging for food. He rolls his eyes as she tells him stories from the south and being a pregnant queen. He ends up marrying her, as he talks to the camera outside a market in New York City on a rainy day, saying, “Can you believe I married her?” The way Boris talks to the camera is actually quite charming in this film, though. He’s sitting on a couch, he makes a hang motion to the camera and goes “We need to talk for a moment” referring to the audience. Ok, so early on his relationship with the young girl he marries is a bit cringe worthy but it’s not overplayed in a sexual way. Their relationship is more out of respect for each other. Boris needs a young person to keep him going. The young girl thinks he is a genius. Boris meets the young girl’s mother and father (Patricia Clarkson and Ed Begley Jr.) from the south, two God fearing simpletons.

As always though, another common theme in most Woody Allen films is how New York City changes the simpletons from the south. Patricia Clarkson totally changes and becomes an artist. The father discovers his true self. Don’t get me wrong; this film isn’t deep like other Allen films, which had a deeper underlining. A lot of this is recycled from other Woody Allen films. When I told someone about this film, they asked me “didn’t he already make that film”, to which I would say back whatever works.

Though, there’s always something to be said for even a smaller film in the library of 50 or so films Allen has made. Even a smaller film Allen has made has more insight and interesting qualities than fifty percent of the films currently playing in the theater. And besides, if you don’t like the actual film, at least you got to see some beautiful shots of New York City. No one shots New York City like Allen. The film at the end becomes as much about how New York City changes people as much as it’s about the worldview of Allen. Boris doesn’t quite get why anything should be celebrated. He feels people make life so much worst than it has to be. Obviously, this is how Allen feels about it as well.

Giant Robots. Hot Babes. No Script.

By Alec Horowitz

Stars: *

“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is a mind numbing experience that is so chock full of constant chase scenes, explosions and mindless insanity, that it goes from what should be a fun movie to a seizure waiting to happen. Shia LeBeuouf isn’t bad at his role. He’s a normal college freshman, trying to enjoy his first days at college. At this college, every girl looks like a printout from Maxim magazine. Now, one would think this would give the screenwriters some time to set up the characters and their new situations. I don’t want to sound like a snob. I understand this isn’t great screenwriting or anything, but the characters constantly pop like it’s a c grade anime. LaBeouf’s new roommate (Ramon Rodriguez) from the minute he meets him, in what should just be a scene setting up the two characters, righ away becomes a over the top scene with a fast talking character who has quick camera motions and over the top sound effects. And the robots aren't even on screen yet. Uh oh.

We have all the stock characters in place, but who cares. They try to insert some humor with LeBeauouf’s parents, played by Kevin Dunn and Julie White, and it would work if they would just slow down to for a scene or two. Now, as I said, I don’t want to sound like a snob, and it’s getting hard not to. After all, the audience is here to see the Autobots, the Decepticons and the Otherbots, who have meanless dialogue written by a couple screenplay-o-matic bots. Yes, the film delivers on this. Plenty of action scenes and explosions with the Transformers, blowing up all sorts of stuff, and jumping from place to place, with LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Ramon Rodriguez and John Turturro (yes, one of America’s finest actors collecting a paycheck) running from the robots as the machines battle and fall on stuff and stuff gets destroyed, and this all happens up to the point of enough already, with them transforming into cars and various forms of product placements directly in the bot’s being. I mean, is it really necessary to have the Honda logo on a character’s legs?

Michael Bay stumbles through this film, really giving his audience whatever they want. Explosions, no script and constant low grade action over maybe some science fiction. He gives the film explosion after explosion, up to the point that there is no real plot. There's little plot points here and there, and small attempts at being revelant with references to the war on terror, and even mentioning that President Barack Obama has been moved to a safe shelter during the robot invasion, but who cares. Is there even any reason to try to add anything resembling a plot? The movie becomes a bunch of loud sound effects and explosions and the Transformers making robot noises and transforming into stuff and the loud sound effects of my moans as I get a seizure in the movie theater.

I may sound like a snob here, but consider this. You know a movie is bad when it stops being fun watching Megan Fox run in slow motion in short shorts and a tank top. I mean, really, can looking at the body of Megan Fox really be overkill? Is that even possible? Considering the fact that this movie is way too long and that Megan Fox should just have a t-shirt and jeans on already because she's running away from large monsters, and maybe if your running away from earth eating monsters, it's time to consider putting your looks second. I know she's eye candy, but come on. There's a limit. When it gets to the point that looking at Megan Fox isn’t fun anymore, it’s time for your movie ticket to transform into a refund.