Iron Man 2 is a fun ride

Three stars

Tony Stark is a narcissist. He’s much like the movie he’s in. If some millionaire said that he had successfully privatized world peace than getting up and dancing out of his senate hearing, a few hours after he, in a metal suit, flew onto the stage, with scald clad dancers shaking their behinds, than you wouldn’t take it seriously as you watched the YouTube clip on the web the next day. Of course, it’s silly. This is a comic book movie. Of course, though, that doesn’t mean all comic book movies are silly. Look at ‘The Dark Knight’ or the wonderful ‘Spider Man’ movies. What I am saying is that comic book movie is a genre that can afford to be silly. This movie is silly. The squeal to last year’s mega hit, “Iron Man”, “Iron Man 2” doesn’t really have much of a plot. Tony Stark has a hot girlfriend. Tony Stark pulls many stunts. Tony Stark creates a new element. Tony Stark has a hot secretary. Tony Stark is also a superhero because he created an iron suit, and the core of it is injected into his heart. Yes, Tony Stark is dying, but this isn’t a deep emotional movie. He’s going to kick butt before he dies. Tony Stark is Bruch Wayne without the dark side.

Robert Downy Jr. knows what he’s playing, and he does it with a dry wit. It appears that another man, one from Russia, has made an iron suit too, and he is going to take on Tony Stark. He wants to kill him. He’s going to be the one who is going to be the new Iron Man. I assume he’s going to use his Iron Man suit for evil. Mickey Rourke isn’t really given much to do here. Than there’s his girlfriend. Gwyneth Paltrow, as she is always getting in fights with her billionaire boyfriend, than she makes up with him, but she’s always concerned, with him running around in that iron suit, who knows what will happen to him? Scarlett Johansson plays his new assistant or secretary but actually she’s an agent for The Avengers, which is Marvel’s rip off of the Justice League of America. So, the rival contractor, played by Bill Pullman, hires the Russian guy to work for him, because hey he wants a iron suit too which leads to a big battle. Pullman is goofy here.

The point is that this movie really doesn’t have much of a plot, and is far from the best of the comic book movies. Yet, I’m going to recommend it anyway because we all need brain dead entertainment sometimes. Sometimes you really need a movie that is good to munch on popcorn with. 'Iron Man 2' is a fun ride, much like it's first one. The film goes fast, and there’s action and mobojumble, but this is also one of those films that feels like the entire film is a set up to other films. The film is setting up to Iron Man 3, obviously, and an Avengers film.

Iron Man reminds me of Batman. Two millionaires are trying to save the world with a superhero like creation they have made in their basement. Yet, Bruce Wayne is a darker guy. Bruce Wayne holds dinner parties, where the big bang is the joker entering the party with a gun. The big bang at Tony Stark's parites is Tony Stark. He certainly is closer to Donald Trump, in his showmanship expect cooler. At the end of the day, though, Tony Stark has nothing on Bruce Wayne.

A Story of A Boy and His Dog, Opps, Dragon

Three and a half stars

Now, here’s a story you would like to read your little boy before he goes to bed. ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ is an old fashioned fantasy, in the tradition of an old fashion Disney cartoon. There are no gimmicks, side jokes for the adults or pop culture references which is what makes this film such a delight. The story opens on the narration of a young boy, named Hiccup, who explains that in his village, dragons are considered beasts that are to be killed. The main character, Hiccup is voiced by Jay Barouche, and he sounds like the way kids used to sound in cartoons before they started using child actors to voice kids. He sounds a little too squeaky to be a real kid, but his tone is perfect as a normal kid who is the disappointment of his Viking father. His father sends him off to training, where he meets another group of kids, including a girl who looks like a tween dressed up in emo clothing named Astrid Hoffeson, voiced by America Ferrera. He is trained by Gonner the Belch, voiced by the wonderful Craig Ferguson (those of you who watch late night know why he is wonderful), as he teaches the young Vikings how to battle and kill dragons.

Hiccup, though, is laughed at and is known as a kid without a future as a warrior. While in the woods, he meets a dragon. First he shoots it down, than when he meets the dragon the second time, he names him Night Fury, and sees how scared the dragon is of him as he is of it. The movie becomes a story of a boy and his dog, almost, then. He gives it food, and earns its trust. Then when he starts to battle dragons, he developed a trick where he just trains them, making it look like he is slaying the dragon. Soon enough, he becomes popular and the envy of the whole Viking community. Our young hero is off, as he does his trick with one dragon after another, constantly making everyone think he is the ultimate dragon slayer, when in fact he is actually just teaching him or her to do a trick. He quickly becomes a nerd, as he sits back at a desk, putting together plans and studying everything there is to be known about dragons. There’s nothing wrong with that.

This is yet another film based on a popular series of children books, but this one harkens back to an old fashion family picture, as opposed to Harry Potter or Twilight movie. This really isn’t about a boy who discovers that he has some kind of dynasty or huge secret. It’s simply about a town with dragons and a boy who learns to train them. Can dragons and humans be friends? Why not? The animation is lovely, done by the same people who did Shrek. The characters are charming. Though, most of all, the best thing about this picture is that it’s simply an old fashion fantasy film. Ok, so it doesn’t add anything new to the fantasy genre, but it really doesn’t need to. It’s a well-made and effective family picture that will have you cheering for Hiccup throughout.

I would think this is quite a story to read to a boy before he goes off to sleep, as they go off to dream land and dream of taking off on a dragon of their own. This film has a good lesson for boys. It shows boys that they don’t need to be violent to win. Maybe they just need to learn to understand those they are supposed to be violent against.

A Rallying Cry to Nerds Across America

It’s been the lament for years. We nerds. True nerds. Not the “I play a video game once in a while and have read a “Harry Potter book” nerds. I mean, real nerds. I’m a nerd. I’m a proud nerd. There’s nothing else I can be. Our people. These nerd people have a proud history. The nerds who lived down the hallway from me at Stony Brook, and tried to hack into my computer, and the guy who lived in the school newspaper office who yelled at his ex girlfriend over the phone that his self published fantasy novels he hawks at local comic book conventions were going to make him rich one day and she was going to be sorry. The people who watch “Star Trek” over “Star Wars” and who knew Wil Wheaton just by name dropping alone. The show “Big Bang Theory” is a hit! Seriously, how many people got that reference on the Big Bang Theory? These nerds. These future millionaires and presidents like Barack Obama, who had a comic book collection as a kid. They are nerds who rant about the stupidest yet also most intelligent subjects, and go to comic book conventions and live a lifestyle that’s unhealthy but probably for the greater good. Space: the final frontier.
You go out and argue in favor of Star Trek and Harry Potter and science fiction and fantasy and science over religion and religions like “Star Trek” that promote science. The only thing missing is a time travel project. We nerds, if we just put together our heads, can come up with a project to travel back in time and right the wrongs that the world has done in the past. Wrongs committed by those who weren’t nerds. We can call the project, “Quantum Leap”, and not only have a better world today but a better world of the past. Just call me Doctor Samuel Becket.
Nerds unite. We are popular now. Nerd J.K. Rowling is a billionaire off writing fantasy books. The nerd icon, ‘Star Trek’ has become a reboot that is a hit. ‘Avatar’ has made nerd James Cameron the king of the world. Nerd Stephanie Meyer writes crappy vampire novels that have made the tween girls who dress up as vampires the Trekkies of tomorrow! Independent films are a multi million-dollar business. YA books are now best sellers. Roger Ebert deserves a second Pulitzer Prize for his blog alone. He hasn’t let cancer stop him. He now talks through a computer like Stephen Hawking.
Everyone considers himself or herself a nerd now. Many who consider themselves nerds aren’t real nerds, but you know deep down in your heart if you’re a real nerd or not. I’m a nerd. I have a blog that’s all movie reviews that are detailed and tell you more about film and other crap that you don’t need to know, really. This is a call to arms. Girls and guys who are considered ‘out of our league’ are rightfully ours. Fathers, who dread what their daughters bring home, relax. They might finally bring home some wimp who’s a nerd instead of a bad boy. The attractive spouses are rightfully ours. Victory will be with us. May the force be with us. It’s perfectly logical, Captain!

Previously published in The New Paltz Oracle.

Don't Mess With Her Son

Three stars

Sure, ‘The Blind Side’ is a bit corny, but the story is ultimately touching for the simple fact it’s a true story. Movies can show us how the world should be, and it’s even better when the story of how the world should be is actually the way the world sometimes is. Based on the book by Michael Lewis, a journalist known for his touching stories dealing with sports, writer/director John Lee Hancock doesn’t do too bad a job of handling the material. Sure, it’s Hollywood and we’ve heard the story a thousand times, but this story is tailor made for a Hollywood movie. It has the right mix of liberal helping out the poor mixed with the conservative image of how good of a heart America can really have. A poor African American kid from the wrong side of the tracks, Michael, gets into a religious school full of upper class white kids.
Michael is played by Quinton Aaron, who does a good job of giving a silent performance. He doesn’t say much. The pain is all in his facial expression. When walking home from school one day in the rain, he is seen by a woman named Leigh Anne Tuohy, who right away asks him where he is going. The gym, he says. The gym is closed, she says. It’s warm, he says back. She right away takes him into their home, and gives him a nice place to sleep. An unrecognizable Tim McGraw, who also turns in a nice performance, plays her husband. The two kids are cute, and the little boy is overly cute like the kid from Jerry Maguire. Though, it’s nice how quickly he cares about his new brother. The movie belongs mostly to Sandra Bullock, in a career changing performance. It’s different than the usual romantic comedies she is known for. She becomes the heroic women who can melt even the most diehard liberal’s heart when she tells a man who threatens her son that she’s a member of the NRA.
They officially adopt Michael and it’s touching to watch them make him a part of their family. The best part is that the Hollywood sappiness this movie provides is excused because it is a true story. Michael thrives, and they get him a tutor (the wonderful Kathy Bates, good in everything) and his grades start to improve. The film wisely keeps to the story between Michael and Leigh Anne Tuohy, and watching her unwavering fight to make a kid who came from nowhere succeed. The football really is a second note in this film. Some might want more sports scenes, but the story is really about making a kid succeed by any means necessary. They want him to succeed, and the whole family gets involved. They truly welcome him into their lives. A wonderful scene is when they are having Thanksgiving dinner and they all gather around the TV set, while Michael goes into the dining room and sits alone. Leigh notices this and quickly moves her entire family into the dining room, so Michael doesn’t have to eat alone.
Some will probably accuse this film of racism. Though, they shouldn’t. The scenes contrasting his life among the inner cities, and his life among a white suburban family are contrasting. Yet, it’s also the reality. In the film, the NCAA decides to investigate if in fact, they somehow drove Michael to attend Old Miss. They question if a lot of white families would start to pick up young black kids and drive them in the direction of a certain school and sport.Would there be something wrong with that? The question I thought to myself, is so what if they did?

Great Movies: Turn Up The Volume

There’s a wonderful scene between Kate Hudson and Patrick Fugit. They are the young journalist and the groupie. “Do you want to go to Morocco with me? Do you want to come?” she asks. “Ask me again,” says the young journalist. “Do you want to come?” she says. “Yes. Yes!” he says. “You got to call me,” she says, “It’s all happening! It’s all happening!” and than the boy reporter runs down the parking lot during the night as the faint sound of a songbird is heard, and the camera pans from an areal view. Cameron Crowe’s 2000 film, “Almost Famous” is a film about music, journalism and maybe the luckiest teenager you ever met. Everyone hates him. Everyone calls him the nark behind his back, according to his sister. His sister and mother disagree, and his mother wants to protect him, telling him constantly not to use drugs as he walks towards the concert hall where a band called Stillwater is playing. One day, you’ll be cool, says his sister to him when he’s a little boy. Music critic Lester Bangs asks him if he’s the star of his school. “They hate me,” he says. Of course, he isn’t.
And thus, journalism comes to his rescue. Unlike other movies about teens and music, it isn’t rock and roll that saves him. He doesn’t pick up a guitar. What save him are the spirit of the music and the sound of his typewriter. Why do we have movie critics and why do we have music journalists? If they love it so much, why aren’t we the ones making the films or the music? “I’m always at home,” says Lester Bangs to his young journalist friend over the phone, “I’m un cool.” To which he gives his young journalist friend some advice, as to why he’s trying to figure out why he disobeyed the advice of his mentor, Lester Bangs, “because they make you feel cool, and kid, I’ve met you. You are not cool.” Lester Bangs was the Roger Ebert of rock criticism, back in the 70s. He was the editor of a magazine called Creem and in the film; Philip Seymour Hoffman plays him, with baggy clothes. “Oh man!” he says, “you made friends with them!” He sits in a diner, telling his young friend about how he used to stay up all night writing gibbish about the faces of Cold Train. In a way, this is how all journalists start. They sit there, writing rants and raves, and it’s when they figure out how to put it in order they become journalists.
That’s one of the reasons I think ‘Almost Famous’ is so wonderful. It’s a love letter to music and journalism. Soon, he is whisked away by a band named Stillwater on their bus. A kid with a mother and sister who don’t get along finds himself a second family. This band. There’s a wonderful scene where he’s sitting on the bus with the band and ‘Tiny Dancer’ starts to play. Before he knows it, the entire band is signing around with the song of ‘Tiny Dancer.’ He turns around to Penny Lane, the groupie he loves, and goes “I need to go home,” to which she says, “You are home.” All these misfits on a bus together, signing a song together. Russell, the lead signer, sitting in the front of the bus, is smiling in the front seat.
Russell’s a wonderful character. He can appear to be a big time rock star, standing on top of the house, yelling “I am a golden god!” and the next moment, he’s on the phone with the kid journalist’s mother, promising her “We are taking good care of your son.” The evolution of the kid’s mother, at first when she goes to a concert hall, she looks out of the car and calls them a lost generation, “a generation of Cinderella’s”, but there’s that wonderful scene where Russell and her come face to face. “I thought we connected,” she says, smiling. There’s a wonderful little line there when they meet, where she turns to him and goes “My son is important to me, too”, as she understands that Russell cares about her son as well. Russell turns to the kid, and they talk about Penny Lane. “I know, I think we both wanted to be with her, but maybe she wanted us to be together.”
The band ‘Stillwater’ was based on the band, ‘The Allman Brothers’, which the writer/director Cameron Crowe traveled around with when he was a teenage reporter for Rolling Stone. Every time I watch this film, I think to myself, boy, Cameron Crowe was the luckiest teenager who ever lived. When I was a teenager, I would go to library and dream of writing for Rolling Stone, as I sat in the magazine section of the library flipping through the magazine’s colorful pages and dreaming of the day my name would be in print of the magazine.
I got a brief glance of what it’s like to be a music journalist when a friend asked me to go and write an article about his band. I sat there in a warehouse, with a notebook, smoking a cigarette, thinking I was really cool, and of course, when I actually sited down to write the article about their music and progress, I must admit it was hard to put into words the spirit of what they have just done in that warehouse that day. Music is such a hard thing to make solid. The young journalist picks up his tape recorder and goes “So, Russell, what do you love about music” and he goes, “to begin with, everything.”

Best Movies of the Year

1. 500 Days of Summer

I titled my review of this film, ‘Film Isn’t Shot In Order. Either Is Our Memory’, because that’s the way this film rolls out. It works like our memory. It isn’t edited to be from point A to point B. It is a film that works like our mind. ‘500 Days of Summer’ is a romantic comedy that doesn’t play by the rules of romantic comedy. It’s refreshing to see a film that isn’t about the wackiness of a relationship, as many romantic comedies make the mistake of being about, but instead is a honest and funny film about how we often have exceptions that are created in our mind as opposed to the reality of what we are. The director, Marc Webb, comes out of the music video world and uses his ability of fast cuts and unique little episodes to craft the emotions, thoughts and feels of our main character, Tom, as he tries to figure out what was real about his relationship and what he romanticized about it. The beginning of ‘500 Days of Summer’ starts with Tom’s sassy little sister riding her bike to Tom’s apartment to inform him that the relationship he thought he had was romanticized in his mind. Thus starts the way the relationship actually played out versus the movie version of it in Tom’s mind. It’s the most original film of the year.

2. The Informant

The Informant is a tour de force by Matt Demon. He creates a funny and original character, which tries to lie and cheat while doing the right thing all at the same time. Though not the smartest man around, there is no way we cannot feel anything but symphony for the main character Mark. He fumbles along, telling lies and truth all the same time while trying to make sense of the corporate world of the 1990s. There where times during this film I felt like I was watching a follow up to ‘Fargo’, the classic 90s film by the Cohen brothers. The world in that film felt plastic, and so does the world in this one.

3. Star Trek

The biggest surprise of the year has to be Star Trek. Of course I thought I was going to enjoy the new Star Trek film, though what I didn’t expect was the film to be as good as it was. While many Trekies where quick to shun the new Star Trek picture, it actual strike that right balance between service to the old fans and a hand reaching out to the new ones. I remember at the screening of Star Trek I was at, when Leonard Nimoy came on the screen, someone in the back of the audience cheered. The scene between a young Kurt and Leonard Nimoy is wonderful as he says to Kurt that Spock will always be his friend. The new cast is well, cool. There was so many ways this film could of gone wrong. A ‘Star Trek’ reboot with a young cast, could of felt like a episode of Star Trek for Kids, but instead avoids all the pratfalls that often happens when trying to update a franchise in desperate need of a tune up. At the same time though, it also really needed someone who can be careful with the fragile universe Gene Roddenberry has created. If anyone can make Star Trek cool again, J.J. Abrams proved he was the one to do this. As I said to my Trekies back in my review, we need this film to pass Star Trek down to the next generation. I’m happy to report, between the comeback of ‘Star Trek’ and the hit sitcom ‘The Big Bang Theory’, this was a good year for nerds.

4. Ponyo

Hayao Miyazaki is an animation rock star in Japan, and has a cult following in America. Hayao Miyazaki is the hero John Lasseter, the head of Pixar, and because of this, continually gets Disney to back a U.S. release of any film that comes from the mind of this magical man. On a dark and stormy night, something magical is brewing in the Ocean. A boy meets a fish, which turns into a human girl, and thus the magic begins. In a well-dubbed American release, with notably the voices of Tina Fey and Liam Neeson, the film provides a story that draws on some of the biggest themes that usually take place in a Miyazaki film. The themes of a Miyazaki film are constantly nature and children. At times it feels like a family film, but like most Myazaki, he never lets animation or family films turn to fluff. The themes are often having a dark undercurrent about how we treat our environment. His memorable 1997 film, “Princess Monoke” also touched on this film. Though, for the most part, a Miyazaki can simply be described as magic.

5. A Serious Man

The Cohan Brothers have brought us their version of the Book of Job. This film is a story about a good man without a backbone. Michael Stahlberg turns in a great performance in every scene, in what is probably not the easiest character to play. He plays a Jewish man who has bad luck, throughout the entire film. In fact, horrible luck, and the suspense builds as you wait for him to either snap or at least have one piece of good news. Though, as the film continues, nothing good happens to him. His wife runs off with a creep, his kids are indifferent, and the man his wife has run off with is a creepy overweight guy who is respected in the community. With a cross of Woody Allen and Kurt Vonnegut, the Cohan Brothers present a story about how one good man lets him become a doormat to a world full of evil. A full display of dark humor is on display here.

6. Coralline

This is yet another magical film. With wonderful clay animation, the wonderful Neil Gaiman bases Coralline on the book, who’s one of our better authors writing today. Coralline isn’t a nice little girl, and in fact seems quite ungrateful to her parents and those around here who simply want the best for her. She isn’t nice to her new neighbor either. An odd kid named Wybie who has bad posture and rides his bike into town; so much around Coralline she accuses him of stalking her. So, when she does make it to an alternative universe where her parents are perfect and Wybie lacks the ability to even talk, she thinks she has entered a perfect world. Yet, something evil is larking underneath the surface. She reminded me of Chihiro from the Hayao Miyazaki classic, ‘Spirited Away’, and this movie gave me shivers and a smile across my face. The smile only became wider as Wybie drove his bike through town. If that isn't every wonderfully odd kid I ever met!

My 4 Star Reviews of 2009: 500 Days of Summer, The Informant, Star Trek

Special Mention: It's not a movie, so I can't put it on the list, but 'The Big Bang Theory' on CBS, 9:30 Mondays is the most charming, funny and future classic of a sitcom I've ever seen in a long, long time. The show of the year.

When Zombies Attack, Boy Gets Girl

By Alec Horowitz

Three stars

Pity us guys who have to wait for the world to be taken over by zombies in order to get the girl. I keep waiting for something to happen. I go to the movies, saying that one day those hours playing “World of Warcraft” are going to pay off, and I’m going to be the hero as the zombies attack the girl and it’s up to me to save her. Though, lets face it. That’s probably not going to happen. So, lets talk about this in simply movie terms. Zombies are funny. Ok, this movie isn’t the brilliant 2004 British comedy “Shawn of the Dead”, but this is still funny. It stars Woody Harrison as a redneck survivor of the zombie uprising who comes across the narrator of the movie, a nerdy Jesse Eisenberg, who says before Zombieland happened, he was a lonely nerd who spent his weekend playing Word of Warcraft and drinking soda. So, basically, the two comes across Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin, and it becomes basically a classic buddy road picture with a gimmick. Though, not a bad one. As I said earlier, zombies are funny.

There’s not too much going on here. They shot zombies, they wreck a store for no reason, Woody Harrison is a crazy redneck, Jesse Eisenberg is an insecure nerd and Emma Stone is really hot. It’s fun viewing to watch and has some good running gags. Though, if there are very few people in the world and the zombies outnumber the humans, than there’s probably a lot of time to kill. They go out and find a mason in Las Angles and there’s a surprise cameo by Bill Muarry, in a funny, funny few scenes. It’s always nice to see Bill Maury. He’s not a zombie, he just dresses like one to stay inspected because he likes to go out and do things. Ok, cool cameo. There’s a great line before he dies asking if he has any regrets, and he goes “Garfield”.

Woody Harrison kills the zombies quick. He’s a mysterious and funny character who obsesses over Twinkies (*cough* product placement) who kills the zombies. Harrison is good at this type of whacky over the top roles. Ok, so this isn’t the place where everyone knows your name, but Harrison knows how to play up the whacky redneck that is on the edge in a world taken over by zombies. There are a lot of guns in these movies, and often when the scenes where the characters are just shooting zombies felt like just watching a live action video game. Was this based on a video game? I goggled it but am still not sure. Just goes to show how on the cutting edge I am on the world of video games that aren’t RPG’s on a computer screen.

The movie makes creative use of a constant list Eisenberg narrates and it keeps coming onto the background of the scenes. One of the items on the list is don’t be a hero, but when it comes time to save the girl from the zombies, what do you think he does? Maybe this is why I enjoyed seeing a movie about Zombies than say, Twilight, a movie about hot vampires who save the day. The Zombies aren’t some supernatural beings, which look like models and care about your feelings. They are blood-sucking monsters like vampires used to be. Classic monsters. It’s up to the normal human guy to save the day and get the girl. Not the other way around. The human guy prevails. It’s in the tradition of Godzilla and every monster movie ever made. The monster being the good guy is relatively new. Maybe the next Zombie movie, the slogan on the poster should be Zombies, the kind of monster vampires used to be.