The Right Has Writer’s Block

By Alec Horowitz

My mother called me up and asked why there were people in a nearby town having a tea party. I said it was probably some angry Republicans holding their tea party. Yes, you heard me right, Republicans held tea parties across the country. They where all preparing for April 15^th, official tax day, when the National Tea Party will be held. Fox News has already announced that they will be on hand across the country covering the tea parties. Yes, Fox News is so fair and balanced. Their new host, and a mystery of the universe, Glenn Beck, has been actively promoting the tea parties on his show. So has syndicated radio show host and Fox News star Sean Hannity, who put out a press release, said he would be returning to his “second hometown” Atlanta (since when?) to broadcast his radio show and TV show live from the tea party. So, why is the right doing this? According to the official website, where you can sign up to help with right wing tea parties, it is protest the government abusing their power by raising taxes.

So, this is what the right has come to? Tea parties? Oh jeez. Is it just me or has the right really had writer’s block lately? I mean, the tea parties are just the tip of the iceberg. Over the last year, look at some of the unbelievable stuff the right has been pulling. For example, Michael Steel has the official title of head of the Republican Party, but the actual people in the Republican Party. Their common people members have really elected a shock jock as their leader. The people in the right have elected syndicated radio shock jock Rush Limbaugh as their leader. Remember his speech at C-Pac? Him standing behind a podium, wearing a black shirt, looking likes a fat nightclub bouncer. Now, the very people who made Rush Limbaugh a millionaire, and elected George W. Bush, are holding tea parties. Over on the Fox News website, they are running a video of tea parties that have occurred. They claim on their website it’s a website to protest tyranny.

Government spending is tyranny? How? Wasn’t torture by the Bush administration tyranny? Oh never mind. Thus, lays the problem with right wing Republicans. They have one issue. Torture? That’s ‘enhanced procedure’. Not tyranny. Spying without a warrant? Oh, that’s not tyranny either. Taxing people? Tyranny! Off with their heads! Of course, the conservatives like to hide the fact that they have one issue but making up what they call ‘moral’ issues. I think the American people have had enough. Let the Right have their tea party. I’ll have my tea, reading The New York Times and sneering at their stupid efforts to win back this country.

Though, I laugh now, but don’t laugh too much. An article released by both the Associated Press and the news website, The Huffington Post, reported that the Department of Homeland Security has recently said that right wing extremism is on the rise in America. According to the AP, the report warns of violent militia groups forming in the United States. Though, they aren’t talking about Mulism extremists. They are talking about right wing groups. Hmmm. So, how about those tea parties, huh? Lets fight tyranny with tea parties. You should watch the right wing do what they do best. Claim they love America. Than they treat America like child’s play and push America to its limits. Yes, it’s all about saving a buck and promoting violence, while Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Tea Party volunteers laugh it up.

Previously published in The New Paltz Oracle.